Thursday, July 5, 2012

a million thanks

I really am struggling with going back to work. But I know why I am doing it and receiving words of support and encouragement from so many people on my post the other day really meant a lot.
And although I value each and every comment, there was one that really struck a cord with me.

So you don't need to go and find the comment, I want to publish it here and publicly thank Emmie for her words and taking the time to reply in so much detail! (I cried when I read these words)


emmie gemmie said...
Oh Sammie!I remember that feeling so well.. when that beautiful Stay-At-Home bubbles suddenly pops! and its back to reality :(

It speaks volumes that they have worked so hard to get you back, you are obviously a really valued employee, Good work Darlin!

It's wonderful that your Mum can take Abi 2 days/week and I bet Abi will love her 3 days at daycare. The settling in period can be a bit tough (it took Bay a couple of months but Abi is older and will hopefully get used to it a lot quicker!) but once they settle in they really love it, Bay now claps and trys to jump out of my arms when I drop her off.. she is always bringing home paintings and doing craft activities and playing with different toys and fun songs and games, which to be honest I doubt I would be doing with her to that extent even if I were still at home. She just loves the social aspect and has little friends, who call out each others names when they arrive for the day. So cute. They send me photos of what shes up to during the day and I an call or pop in anytime during the day if I want/need to.

The initial return can feel really hard, but it is certainly not all bad being back at work. It is great to be back in the adult world and I now savour all the time I spend with her, whereas I think I was starting to take her for granted while dealing with the drugery of being home day in and out. Of course the extra money takes the pressure off fiancially and I feel much more balanced in my relationship once I was earning some money again.

I think it is a great plan to return to work now, especially if it means you will be able to stay at home permanently in the future. I actually believe our kids need us more as they get older.. so I also hope that by putting the hard yards in now I will be able to cut down my working hours down the track.

But there is no doubt about it being a working Mama is a tough road.. at times you just feel like you are doing a $hit job at everything.. not as commited as you used to be at work, not home enough with your baby.. too tired to be there for your husband.. but working is a fact of life for most of us and be super gentle on yourself.

Great idea about getting a cleaner.. I love mine and consider it a non-negotiable.

THe afternoons after work can be a bit tough as everyone is feeling tired and worn out from work/daycare, I give myself a little pep talk on the way to pick Bay up.."its okay to feel tired but be tired and available to her, not tired and withdrawn" It's not her fault if Ive had a cr@p day at work. We usually go for a little wak as the fresh air helps re-energise us and we talk and explorethe neighbourhood and I always turn my phone off so Im not distracted and we have some quality time before the dinner/bathtime routine starts.

I am not shy of taking shortcuts with dinner either, everytime I cook I make double and so I only have to cook every other night :)

I suddenly became very strict with 7pm bedtime for Bay as night time is now the only down time that I get and important to wind down with your Mister.

If you are still breastfeeding come up with a plan of how you will manage it with work/daycare etc, hopefully your workplace will be supportive. If you can/want to I recomend continuing to feed for at least a little while as Abi will have a lot of changes to get used to in a short amount of time and it will be a big source of comfort for her.. not to mention help her fight off all the colds and flus she'll no doubt get once shes in daycare!

Goodluck Sammie and take care of yourself!

xoxoxoxoxo
Thanks Emmie. And thanks EVERYONE!
xxx

11 comments:

  1. I've still got 6 months of maternity leave left, and I'm already a little nervous about heading back to work. So when I do, I'll come back to this post and read Emmie's encouraging words. All the best Sammie!

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  2. Wow! What a beautiful and wise response. I haven't gone back to work as yet but can see the wisdom in Em's words (and doesn't she always write the best comments?). I agree with Em about kiddos increasing need for us as they get older. I imagine it will be really hard at first but look for the joy that you can in this next stage. Check out this interview about this mum too. Cup of Jo is running some great interviews on working mamas. xxx http://joannagoddard.blogspot.com.au/2012/07/my-balance-jen-green-from-anthropologie.html

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  3. Em is definitely a gem! You are a great mum and it will all be fine, sometimes I wish I was going back to work and it's such a great sign to have a workplace so keen to have you back.

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  4. That's beautiful emmie! And so very true.... I still after 6 months of being back at work struggle.

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  5. Sammie, all the best for you and Abi with your return to work. I've got my parents looking after my kids while I'm at work and some days I still wonder if I'm doing the right thing. My parents like to send me photo updates of my kiddos through out the day while I'm at work and I find that it really helps :)

    xx
    BB

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  6. Aww Sammie, thanks for the Comment Love. When I hit send of that comment I was feeling a bit embarassed about writing such a loonnng comment, but now I'm glad I did, if it helped you even a bit.
    Thanks for all your sweet words, and very best of luck for Monday, I'll be thinking of you

    xoxooxxo

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  7. I feel for you lovely. I don't have plans to go back to work at this point but I do miss all the "fun" aspects of work. The adult conversations, the money... But I know I'd miss G far too much and we don't have parents locally to "pitch in" unfortunately.

    I think you are doing the right thing. If we had access to good childcare up here I'd really consider going back to work...

    Kitty

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  8. Aww what a sweet comment from Emmie and she DOES write the best comments!

    I have recently ran into some 'negative' comments from friends about increasing to 4 days a week. But everyone's situation is different.

    The childcare sounds really good and Abi seems to be enjoying it. At the end of the day, you have to think about what is best for your family xxx

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  9. I love the power of blogging. When being used for good. It seems to be able to give women access to a support network that might not existin real life.
    Good luck with your next step.

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  10. Wow. Emmie those are words of encouragement and wisdom. I have about 7mths before returning to work. Hopefully I'll get a placement for M at CC. I'm not sure how I will handle leaving her. Emmie you are so right about the pressure of a working mum. Having to split yourself between work, baby, husband and home. It's a big job and there are days where everything seems such an obstacle. It's reassuring to hear from other mums on how you can make it work.

    Sammie - i think you are doing a fantastic job and a great mum for Abi. Go get em girl. Will be turning to you for advice in 7mths time.

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  11. I don't know what we'd do without our gem! We are spoilt rotten to have found each other and the amazing support that we all provide.

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