Tuesday, June 19, 2012

just like that

So just like that. I'm going back to work.
I was all ready to resign and start looking for something else.
Yesterday I received a very random call from my manager, I screened it. My phone was flat. I thought I could just call him the next day. But it rang again within 15 minuites. This NEVER happens.
Due to changes, resignations and moves, my old job, but in Melbourne was available.
I had to get back to them within 24 hours! Such big decisions to make. And to start back on the 1st of July! Eek! There's a whole lot of organising in such a short time.
And then for the clincher... We need you in Sydney for two days next week! OMG!

So to cut a long story short. Abigail and I will travel to Sydney together next week and instead of work booking me accommodation I will stay with friends and she will be looked after by my friends mum.
After that I will come back home and try to get organised! I'm going to start on the 9th of July.

My mind is already racing a million miles an hour trying to get everything sorted!
Lucky for me Abi will stay with my mum on Monday's and Fridays. And we will put her into child care for the other 3 days or I will get a nanny.

Once I go back it will have been nearly 11 months that I have had off. Abigail will be nearly 11 months old and in that time never been in care, with a sitter or a nanny. We have been very very lucky to have been able to afford for me to have so long off. I know not everyone is as lucky as me.

Big changes. Got any great tips for me?


  1. First congratulations! It shows what a great employee you are when you're able to keep working with a location change.
    The main tip I have for you is take it easy on yourself, also if you can afford a cleaner I would strongly recommend that.
    If you can start trial running Abi with her carer I would do that ASAP so that you don't have her adjusting at the same time as you adjusting to work.
    Good luck!

  2. I second everything Lila said :-). I did a trial run and it really helped me adjust. My bub loves day care, we had some illness which is inevitable but not to bad. They have dress up days and she has had her face painted and photos taken, they do arts and crafts with her -she makes friends - its been a really positive thing. I remember the first couple of days I was so stressed,then she came home with an arts and crafts project with a photo of her smiling in it and my heart just melted! My only advice is not to try to be the mum who does it all, I went back to many days and recently cut back because it just wasn't working for me and the little one. How exciting though to return to the adult world of dressing up and having corporate coffees lol.

  3. Thanks girls.
    I'm already on the lookout for a good cleaner!!!

  4. Exciting times ahead - congratulations!
    I imagine it will definitely be a wrench to leave Abi but I'm sure there are many benefits also.

    1. I'm hoping the $$$ make up for it. x

  5. Congratulations! You will love having grown up time again.

    I second all the advice above. I've heard it takes about 10 days of being in care for the separation anxiety to pass. So be prepared for that and just go with the flow.

    In terms of managing full time work with mummy-hood, routine is definitely key. Have set aside mummy-abi time and family time with daddy too. Be strong about saying no to social things too if it will cut into that time. It helps to alleviate mothers' guilt.

    Good luck! It's great and totally doable. You are amazing!

    1. Thank you. I'm all for mummy-Abi time and seeing as we have just moved to Melb and don't have a ton of friends I don't think that there will very many social engagements anyway!!!

  6. Don't do it!!!! Unless of course you really need the money. Can you go part time? Spending 5 days, including a night? away from a baby would break my heart. We went without a lot of things for 5 years so our daughter could be with a parent. So sad for you.

  7. Thanks Anonymous, we really want to get ahead and I can only describe it one way... Currently we are 'treading water' but we want to swim freestyle, perhaps one day butterfly.
    Me going back to work it all about saving lots of lots of money so that when we have baby no. 2 I don't have to go back to work EVER!
    Yes, it's sad. I could see myself staying with Abi forever she is my little baby, but in reality she is growing up and quickly. I think it will be good for the both of us... or perhaps I'm just telling myself that?

  8. Congrats Sammie! My only advise is hang in there, it's honestly tough (and there might be lots of tears) but it gets easier. You have a great reason to go back to work, as you have mentioned above, so just keep thinking of that and keep your eye on your main goal. Before you know it you'll be at home with baby no 2 and without ever having to go back!

    Mrs A

  9. Hi Sammie,
    I was all for childcare for a couple of days per week for my baby, but after calling two different centres it put me off for life. A council run one where the girl was a rough so and so, and an expensive one with a long waiting list in a nice suburb...and that woman was a mole but a posh mole. I feel sick at the thought of leaving my son in the care of hideous strangers so now I have decided to go without so my boy can be cared by me and my Mum. I am lucky as I can return to work part time. I know this isn't an option for some. Even if you worked four days it might be better? Everyone is so PRO childcare these days but I think it is so sad, like an Orphanage.

  10. Fair enough. How far apart are you hoping to have a second child? Because if you can work for two years now and not have to work EVER, why wouldnt you tread water now and work for a couple of years when your kids are in school?

  11. Wow this huge news! I know how you feel as it's scary to be returning to work and being away from your baby! I was lucky that I could transition back into work starting with 2 days a week and then 3 days and now I'm 4. This got my little one used to spending time with my mum ('nana') and childcare. Scope out a few childcare places and do a few orientations and get your name on the waiting list ASAP as well! You can always pull out if you decide to go with another but the waiting lists are ridiculous.

    I admit it's hard work trying to juggle everything. You just can't.

  12. Hi Sammie
    Haven't posted on your site before however I am very interested in debate around this area.
    I went back to work when my little boy was 4.5months old as I had transferred to the city from a regional mine site, didn't know many people in the city and at heart love working! I am lucky that i certainly didn't have to go back. I started off 2, then 3, now 4 and finally if I get a promotion in a few weeks, will move to 5 days (son is now 2). Although my mother-in-law and sister-in-law were initially horrified about daycare and call it the institution, my son has thrived - as the others have said, the craft (especially little mother's day gifts), dress up days and other little things that go on there are great. My little one at 2 also does Spanish and soccer at his daycare. I know you have good daycares and bad daycares and I also believe you have good nannies and bad nannies. I love daycare........ the hugs at the end of the day are gorgeous and also when he says "Harry want to go back to daycare!" you know he is having a great time. Sounds terrible but I loved the first day in the office where I sat down to work on a spreadsheet- felt amazing!!!! All the best

  13. Hi- forgot to add to my post above.
    A good read is "French Children Don't Throw Food". It talks about in France and other parts of Europe how daycare/nursery/creche is actually preferred to having a nanny.

  14. I don't think the anonymous comments are helpful. In reality, most people need to return to work these days. All the best sammie and don't worry about the stay at home mums trying to make you feel guilty

  15. Oh Sammie!I remember that feeling so well.. when that beautiful Stay-At-Home bubbles suddenly pops! and its back to reality :(

    It speaks volumes that they have worked so hard to get you back, you are obviously a really valued employee, Good work Darlin!

    It's wonderful that your Mum can take Abi 2 days/week and I bet Abi will love her 3 days at daycare. The settling in period can be a bit tough (it took Bay a couple of months but Abi is older and will hopefully get used to it a lot quicker!) but once they settle in they really love it, Bay now claps and trys to jump out of my arms when I drop her off.. she is always bringing home paintings and doing craft activities and playing with different toys and fun songs and games, which to be honest I doubt I would be doing with her to that extent even if I were still at home. She just loves the social aspect and has little friends, who call out each others names when they arrive for the day. So cute. They send me photos of what shes up to during the day and I an call or pop in anytime during the day if I want/need to.

    The initial return can feel really hard, but it is certainly not all bad being back at work. It is great to be back in the adult world and I now savour all the time I spend with her, whereas I think I was starting to take her for granted while dealing with the drugery of being home day in and out. Of course the extra money takes the pressure off fiancially and I feel much more balanced in my relationship once I was earning some money again.

    I think it is a great plan to return to work now, especially if it means you will be able to stay at home permanently in the future. I actually believe our kids need us more as they get older.. so I also hope that by putting the hard yards in now I will be able to cut down my working hours down the track.

    But there is no doubt about it being a working Mama is a tough road.. at times you just feel like you are doing a $hit job at everything.. not as commited as you used to be at work, not home enough with your baby.. too tired to be there for your husband.. but working is a fact of life for most of us and be super gentle on yourself.

    Great idea about getting a cleaner.. I love mine and consider it a non-negotiable.

    THe afternoons after work can be a bit tough as everyone is feeling tired and worn out from work/daycare, I give myself a little pep talk on the way to pick Bay up.."its okay to feel tired but be tired and available to her, not tired and withdrawn" It's not her fault if Ive had a cr@p day at work. We usually go for a little wak as the fresh air helps re-energise us and we talk and explorethe neighbourhood and I always turn my phone off so Im not distracted and we have some quality time before the dinner/bathtime routine starts.

    I am not shy of taking shortcuts with dinner either, everytime I cook I make double and so I only have to cook every other night :)

    I suddenly became very strict with 7pm bedtime for Bay as night time is now the only down time that I get and important to wind down with your Mister.

    If you are still breastfeeding come up with a plan of how you will manage it with work/daycare etc, hopefully your workplace will be supportive. If you can/want to I recomend continuing to feed for at least a little while as Abi will have a lot of changes to get used to in a short amount of time and it will be a big source of comfort for her.. not to mention help her fight off all the colds and flus she'll no doubt get once shes in daycare!

    Goodluck Sammie and take care of yourself!


  16. Hi Sammie,
    I didn't have a chance to read this post and all the comments until now. I'm only doing a bit of work here and there and lucky to have my mum and mil to look after miss s. Given our change of circumstances with mr k changing careers, I might have to go back out to work too. I was very anti- day care but I've changed my mind recently having seen how much my nephew and other little ones I know is loving it. The kiddies and parents I know who seem happiest appear to have a great balance of grandma and daycare system. I think if you can find a great one and your child is ready and has a temperament that suits it, it can be great. We all do the best that we can with what we can do. Best of luck and keep us all updated!


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